One Question That Leads to a Narcissist’s Collapse (Their Kryptonite)

One Question That Leads to a Narcissist's Collapse (Their Kryptonite)


Are you tired of dealing with narcissists who constantly manipulate and control you? Well, that stops now. In this article, we reveal the one question that can break their facade and bring them to their knees.

Let’s be real, we’ve all encountered a narcissist at some point in our lives. Whether it’s a friend, colleague, or even family member, their toxic behavior can leave us feeling drained and powerless.

But let us tell you something. Everyone’s faced some kind of hurt that got hurled at them unfairly at some point. We all go through psychological pain. No one gets a free pass from it.

For example, we might have dealt with ridicule, contempt, someone’s persistent anger, and hatred, or even abusive treatment. We could have also faced rejection and dismissal, among other things. It makes us feel emotional pain and hurt, leaving us wondering why we’re the ones dealing with it when there are so many more evil people out there.

This seems so unfair, right? It’s especially noticeable when you’re dealing with a narcissist. After all, their key traits are pretty dysfunctional. For starters, they have a strong need to control and manipulate, don’t care much about others’ needs, and have low empathy. They also live in their own world, making up facts as they go. This often leads to constant selfish behavior and self-absorption.

Needless to say, the victims of narcissism are usually the ones who end up hurt and feeling like they’re crazy for even thinking someone could be capable of such behavior. But if you want to turn things around, it starts with asking them one simple question. “How am I going to manage my pain?”

This is a powerful question because it has a two-fold effect. When you ask that question to the narcissist, it allows you to start your healing process. At the same time, it starts the narcissist’s path to self-destruction because they’ll likely make the wrong choices and go in the wrong direction. What do we mean?

Recommended Book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.

Let’s start with how this question impacts you first.

You might not realize it but asking this question helps you see that you have the freedom to choose how to respond to your situation with the narcissist. This is something nobody can ever take away from you.

In spite of everything you experience with them, we hope you choose love, decency, and goodness, which are the very qualities that stand in stark contrast to narcissism. Choose empathy. Sure, you’ve got your own pain. But others are carrying hidden burdens, too, including the narcissist. Remember, we all have our struggles.

Choose love. Find out what it truly means and embrace it with all your heart. Avoid the path of contempt, hatred, and darkness that narcissists often take. Choose transcendence. Sure, acknowledge your pain, but remember there’s something bigger out there, which is the goodness life has to offer. You can be a part of that goodness. Find something meaningful that lets you positively influence someone else’s life, even if it’s a narcissist’s life.

Choose respect, especially self-respect. And it might be tough but try to extend respect to the narcissist, too, or at least some semblance of it.

That’s not all. Set boundaries. Know who you are and stay true to yourself. Don’t let others, especially narcissists, define you. Be grateful. Look at the little and big things that make you happy and embrace gratitude. It may be hard to believe because of what you experience when dealing with a narcissist, but there is always something you can be grateful for.

Ultimately, we want you to think for yourself. This is how you can become someone intuitive and insightful, saying, “I will be a lifelong learner, continually working on this for the rest of my life.” By doing this, you’ll have a chance to find the stability that the narcissist in your life simply can’t handle.

Recommended Book: How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse

Simply put, you can gain control over your life, which is something the narcissist doesn’t want to happen. Choosing to be a lifelong learner means embracing the lessons from your tough experiences with a narcissist. These lessons can help you let go of unnecessary burdens and ensure you don’t pass them on to others.

For instance, understanding parts of their backstory can help you see them and their behavior more objectively. It might even encourage you to take a totally different path in life than the narcissist causing you pain. You can recognize the pain but decide not to dwell in that dark place. Instead, you can find a purpose that helps you rise above the pain you’re dealing with.

Now, what about the narcissist? How does the simple act of asking them how you are going to manage your pain affect them?

Asking this question makes the narcissist face their own actions and behavior. It forces them to confront the pain they’ve caused others, maybe for the first time ever. It also makes them deal with their inability to handle their emotions and inner turmoil. Plus, it highlights their lack of empathy and concern for others’ well-being.

That’s where a narcissist’s self-destruction starts. Since they can’t handle their own pain and emotions, especially the unfamiliar ones, they might lash out or keep heading down a destructive path. From that point on, chances are they’ll end up making choices that’ll steer them the wrong way.

A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.

Basically, they’ll be fueled by this constant, free-floating anger. Narcissists will often turn to mind-numbing stuff like alcohol and other substances, as well as superficial behaviors like materialism to escape the feelings your question evoked in them.

It’s as if they’re saying, “Don’t make me think. I just want something temporary to feel okay.” Narcissists usually deal with pain by using others to give themselves a temporary boost in their feelings. It’s just their way of coping, though unhealthy.

They’ll blame their problems on everyone else, making everything someone else’s fault. Also, they’ll use people, toss them aside when they’re spent, and then do it all over again. When they’re hurting, they stay cynical, often showing sarcasm and harsh criticism. They can also choose to hold grudges.

Their line of thinking is, “No one messes with me. If you’ve hurt me, I don’t know when, but you’ll pay eventually.” They’ll build a thick shield of contempt around their mind and heart. It’s like they think that scaring everyone and being ready to strike will ease their own pain.

This logic is twisted and flawed because it doesn’t really address the emotions your question stirred in them. Ultimately, narcissists end up causing their own downfall by embracing the darkness your question triggered in them and deciding to become part of it. This choice pulls them into an even deeper, more intense darkness.

Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.

The bottom line is that narcissists lack introspection and won’t do some reflective thinking. That’s the essence of the narcissistic pattern. They ignore other options that don’t involve pain. But that’s not really the best way for them to respond to your question. And it eventually leads to their downfall.

Now, if the narcissist is a loved one, like your partner, you might find it difficult to see them on the path to destruction. But you need to understand that you can’t save or fix them. It’s beyond your capacity. And if you try to intervene because you believe you can change them, you’re only causing yourself more pain and frustration.

They need to make a conscious decision to change, and only they can do that. And when they do, only a professional can help them navigate their inner turmoil and pain. Whenever you witness that narcissist unraveling before you, remember you’re dealing with a burned-out, deeply pained individual who chooses the path of destruction instead of healing.

But you can choose not to follow in their footsteps. Break the cycle and choose to learn, grow, and find goodness in your life instead. You have the power to make choices that lead to a better future for yourself and others. Don’t let the pain caused by a narcissist define you or control your actions.

Read More: 4 Types Of People The Narcissist Can Not Tolerate.

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